realize that you miss him,

realize that you care,

realize that you love him,

though nothing will be there.

realize you're nothing without him,

realize you need him by your side,

realize he is the perfect one,

though love's rules may not abide.

realize you love his brilliant blue eyes,

realize you love his stunning face,

realize his personality gives you jitters,

though love is not going your pace.

Nervous, I walk to the door,

Not knowing what could be inside,

Worried there could be new things,

Changes.

Entering, I close my eyes,

I try to see the old things,

Opening them, I see it all,

Difference.

Walking down those halls,

I see things that once was, gone,

Spinning, my thoughts begin to wonder,

Confusion.

---feelings at the moment - will rewrite later.

I wish to let the ocean trance my feelings,

the sand to cover my pains,

the water to disguise the scars,

nature to be my healer.

I wish to let the sun melt my dreams,

the grass to hid my failures,

the blue sky to bleach away my past,

summer to be my escape.

I wish to let the snowflakes mask my envy,

the sleet to wash away my guilt,

the cold to freeze my pain,

winter to be my rescuer.

I wish to let the leaves bury my faults,

the browns,reds, & oranges to shadow my anger,

the breeze to carry away my fears,

fall to be my new beginning.

I wish to let the flowers show my beauty,

the aromas to accentuate my thoughts,

the rain to bloom and create new glee,

spring to be my everything.

The date is coming,

It's so very close,

it's somewhat frightening,

the day of death.

She left that day,

her memories are close,

it's somewhat sorrowful,

the day of her death.

The X bleed red on the calendar,

the marked date of 20.

The month of beauty,

turned into the month of pain.

It hurts to think about it,

2 years ago in 13 days,

she left my life,

my best freind gone forever.

Is it so awful that i like you,

even after all that you have done?

Treated me like nothing less than a piece of crap

yet still my heart you've won.

Boasting to your friends,

bragging to your cousin

making me feel trashy

yet you'll always have my lovin'

When someone say the word like

my mind immediately races to you

i take in all of the memories

like riding in the car and sing you 'Boo'

Pathetically I still care

holding onto each treasure

forever I'll think of you,

a love no one can measure.

im like a dying rose in the summertime
my petals falling off
each petal that falls
is another problem effecting my life

as i shed all these petals
i lose a piece of my life
an important part of me
something that will hurt forever

each petal falls based on something new
a new problem
a new person
a new pain

the petals stay forever fallen
the pieces unable to be fixed
nothing but brokeness
and less of a rose

---Just Life. Sometimes it's hard to determine my feelings but I think this one is pretty readable...the last one sucked and it's based on problems i've been having so skip it and read this one instead!!

Torn between two thoughts and two wants my heart needs to settle in the middle. I want and need him but I'm worried about how much i really need her anymore. Wanting him is keeping me busy and the feeling of needing to tell her keeps me keen to feelings. I wish that things could be easier. I'm finding it easier and easier to lie to her and that isn't a good thing. When I lie to her I feel guilty because I know that things aren't what they used to be and sometimes I just wish we could all be how we were. Happy and always faithful. Hopefully this will soon pass and she will move on, leaving nothing but me holding him in my arms.

<333

---Dedication: none but this is another little story/poem about how I'm feeling....

Scared,

I'm so very scared,

Scared she'll find out,

Scared she'll hate me.

Confused,

I'm so very confused,

Confused about him,

Confused about my feelings.

Longing,

I'm longing for things,

Longing for him,

Longing for the truth.

Wanting,

I'm wanting it,

Wanting him,

Wanting to be free from this burden.

--Dedication: none really..just my situation right now really sucks..read into it and you might be able to see it.....<333

Willing,

I'm so willing with him,

he makes me feel safe,

he makes me feel loved.

Happy,

I'm so happy with him,

he makes me feel wanted,

he makes me feel joyous.

Free,

I'm so free with him,

he makes me feel fun,

he makes me feel like me.

--Dedication to a special someone <333

Hearing his voice,

Seeing his smile,

Hearing his laugh,

i'm happy.

Thinking of him,

Picturing us together,

Thinking of life,

I'm smiling.

Dreaming of him,

Feeling new feelings,

Dreaming of Happiness,

I'm shameless.

-Feelings <333-

Scared,

I feel trapped,

It's a neverending story,

I can't fight my way out of.

Alone,

I feel so alone,

It never hurts anyone as bad,

I can't seem to heal these wounds.

Mistified,

I feel so confused,

I feel like it's so bad,

no one else seems to feel the same.

Worried,

I feel so unsafe,

I feel like i'm hurt,

No one else seems to care.

Stuck,

I'll always be alone,

forever and always,

no one can understand this.

-More Feelings....way awful experience!-

Blistering cold,

I step out and I freeze,

Wishing it would all stop,

Trying to stay warm.

Icy roads,

when you drive you slip and slide,

wishing it would all melt,

trying to stand up.

Swift winds,

if you go outside you get knocked over,

wishing it would slow down,

hoping to keep my balance.

Freezing rain,

when it hits - it freezes,

wishing it would unfreeze,

determined not to slip.

Putred Winter,

Makes me want to cry,

wishing i could stay warm,

waiting for spring.

-Feelings-

It somewhat made sense,

The thing she tried to infer,

I guess in order to understand,

I’d have to be her.

Putting myself in her shoes,

I see her love this man,

 But I can’t understand,

My dad’s love for Anne.

It’s not that she’s terrible,

 It’s not that she’s bad,

I just can’t understand,

The mind of my dad.

I’m honestly upset,

And so very confused,

The thoughts running in my mind,

Are left to be used.

 I can’t see them together,

But I can’t see them apart,

But I’ll forever know ,

My dad is in her heart.

I can see that she loves him,

How you could you not?

My dad is a wonderful man,

 He puts forth lots of effort and thought.

 I can see that she is trying,

To better understand,

 But I think she needs to take a step back,

 And let my dad take the upper hand.

 He’s not sure what he wants right now,

 It’s very plain to see,

 But I’m sure with time it will come to him,

 These things just don’t come easy.

 For now I say we let him choose,

Let him try and decide,

 But we should stick together,

 Because he sadly lets his emotions hide.

Lets join together and help him,

Make sure he stays happy,

happiness is all i've ever wanted,

for my dad, my herb, my pappy.

--Dedication – this is a poem about how I feel right now with the Anne/Herb situation.